IBM
0104 IBM competitor salesmen
At IBM I was never selling in a vacuum. I was always well aware of the shadowy figures who were my competitors. On the other hand, the way I dealt with them was sometimes very idiosyncratic. Thus, in those days at least, those in the (hospital) market were very concerned with their professional image and hated anything commercial! Accordingly, I used to present a picture of myself as an 'anti-salesman', saying for example “I could never be a good salesman, with my ample figure!”, and subtly reinforcing the image of my competitors as smooth (and, by association, untrustworthy) operators. In addition, as a balance to the very professional ('expert consultant') image I presented, I used to include anecdotes about my 'incompetence' as a salesman, typically adding the comment, “I will never make the grade as a real salesman. It's fortunate that in this job I can concentrate on helping customers, and forget about all the sophisticated techniques of selling!” I even used to let slip honest `snippets' about problems with the equipment; very carefully, though, explaining how they had been solved. By implication I suggested that my competitors had similar, or worse, problems which they didn't talk about - probably because they hadn't resolved them. I accompanied these `indiscretions' with the disclaimer: “Of course, if I were a good salesman, the ultimate salesman, I wouldn't tell you this, but I believe that honesty is the best policy.”
Most of all, though, I deliberately displayed my admiration for the sales skills of the individual salesmen competing against me. My most competitive campaign was reserved for the best salesman who ever lined up against me when I was running the marketing for Biomedical Group. During the social chit-chat, I would confess my admiration (which was genuine) for his sales techniques. I would carefully explain to the prospect exactly how the techniques worked, and suggest that the prospect watch this salesman the next time he called. As a result, that salesman walked into calls where nobody listened to his pitch, but instead watched his techniques. All they saw was his smooth objection handling (“That must have been the 'apparent agreement technique'”) and his closing (“My god, that was a clever 'alternative close'”). Of course, these prospects did not really admire his style; they hated it - it was the epitome of salesmanship (a term of abuse for them)! That salesman must have wondered what was happening: the harder he practised his skills, the more he lost their confidence. I backed up my `admiration' by explaining that he was such a good salesman, much better than me, that: “If I didn't have a machine that was so much better than his, the proverbial better mouse-trap, with his sales skills he would walk all over me!” This was not strictly accurate, since the machines were not too different in basic performance; though I worked hard to create procedures which made our machine much better.
The final benefit of this anti-salesmanship was that it offered a very distinctive trade-mark. Before a prospect can place an order with you, he has to remember you. If you are indistinguishable from the morass of other salesmen, he may have some difficulty matching you to your product. I gained most recognition at an industry conference at Stirling University. I was, foolishly, trying to demonstrate our blood cell washer. I shouldn’t have done so! To load the machine I had to insert a plastic line into a bag of blood, an outdated one we had got from the local blood bank. This was something I was never good at, and that day I exceeded even my worst performance; and I pierced the side of the bag. As the blood started running down my arm, turning my sleeve bright red, I made a dash for the gents toilet. In there I dumped the bag in the sink and tried to empty it completely, by stabbing it with a pair of scissors. Blood was spurting everywhere when one of the doctors entered, to apparently see me stabbing myself in the wrist. It took some explaining.
For some time thereafter not a few of customers used to introduce me to others as “Don’t you remember him? He was the one who got blood everywhere in Stirling!” Never mind, they didn’t forget me. Mind you that night I had to fly to Paris with one shirt sleeve white and one, even after washing most of the blood out of it, a delicate pink!
On the other hand, if you want to see how the other half of the sales ‘profession’ lives you could go and listen to some sales trainers. You may find yourself, as I once did (at the insistence of my boss who thought it would be good for my soul), paying good money to attend a theatrical performance in the company of several hundred other aspiring – and perspiring (it was a hot night in July in an airless hotel conference suite) - salesmen. It was attended by about 400 salesmen at a cost of £40 each, and it must have brought in something like £10,000 net to the `trainer'; who was an excellent salesman of his own wares. It was meant to be an almost religious experience, `Go out there and sell!', but the day after I couldn't remember a single point I was supposed to have learnt.
If you want another horror story, I particularly well remember a presentation by a highly reputable management consultancy, to obtain my business in the area of production control. I had, foolishly, mentioned an interest in computing. The result was that we were shown a portable terminal connected via our telephone line to a mainframe. For a very enjoyable 45 minutes we took it in turns to play `hangman'. The whole experience was fascinating, since this was in the 1960s when very few people had ever touched a computer (and just getting the service into our offices must have cost a fortune). However, when the team of presenters had finally walked out of the door my immediate reaction was to cross them off the shortlist. We were looking for solutions to our production control problems, and I couldn't see that any consultancy which had been happy to waste an hour of my hard-pressed management team's time on an irrelevant game was likely to be worthwhile.
Some salesmen were not incompetent. But, equally, they lived up to their reputation as con-men. I once had an almost unbeatable USP (Unique Sales Proposition – the product benefit which sets your product apart). My computer was one of the first to be able to run without air conditioning, where my competitor's couldn't; and the prospect couldn't get planning consent to put air conditioning in the listed building where he had his offices. However, the competitor still ran a demonstration, and the prospect came back enthusiastically proclaiming (to my initial mystification) that the competitor's machine didn't really need air conditioning.
At the demonstration, he explained, all the windows had been wide open, and the machine was still clearly working. The printer was pounding away at a stupendous speed. It was only when I asked what was being printed out, to receive the reply, “Oh, some computer work; it was not normal printing”, that I began to see the light. The competitor had tried to run the machine without the air conditioning, and it had crashed. He had, however, been able to print out the diagnostics which told the engineers why it had crashed; and it was these that the prospect had seen being printed. It was a brilliant sleight of hand, and it nearly worked. It took all my sales skills to discreetly persuade the prospect what had really happened!
Overt bribery, though, was very much a rarity. I only ever came across two borderline cases. One was where the buyer had been same invited, all expenses paid (and with his wife), to a conference in Switzerland. It was very borderline and could have been quite innocent but I doubted it was.
In the other case I was facing a DP manager who I did suspect might have been made an offer. To my astonishment, he suddenly blurted out: “You think I have been offered a bribe, don't you.” For once I got it right, and my immediate response was: “Of course not! No reputable company would ever make such an offer. It would put their whole reputation at risk, and it would undermine your trust - since it would prove they had no integrity. And you, yourself, wouldn't fall for such a bribe even if a salesman made one against his company policy. You wouldn't want to put your job on the line; particularly where you would have no guarantee of a pay-off. It would be much safer for the salesman to string you along, and then not pay. You couldn't complain, and he wouldn't need to risk his company's reputation or his job!” I eventually won the sale; I suspect not least on the basis of that reply. I just wish I had been similarly inspired at other times.
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