1960s PRIVATE LIFE

0123 The Hellyers

My in-laws were interesting people.  On paper they looked very downmarket.  Pat’s father was a forester, who looked after the trees on the estate of the Member of Parliament who was chairman of the 1922 committee.  Sir Tufton Beamish was well off, as was his wife.  She was American. I well remain remember her vociferously complaining about “…those Bouvier girls, who were jumped up beyond their station in life”. Jacqueline Bouvier, with whom Lady Beamish had been at school, was of course married to President Kennedy!

Pat & her parents in the estate’s woods,

which surrounded their cottage

The Hellyers had a tied cottage on the estate.  It was small, with only one and a half bedrooms, but it suited them down to the ground.  Pat's father's idea of being a forester was to go off into the woods and read books of poetry. As such his job was relatively light, though he also had to look after Tufton Beamish's gundogs -- and act as a part-time gamekeeper.

  With Buster, the gundog

But he had a very good education. As part of the family in service to another rich family, he had been put through Midhurst grammar school, which was then a public school, and had achieved good results there.  He had, at one stage, been scheduled to go into the church, and was acting as an assistant to a vicar. But he chose instead to become a forester. 

He never seemed to regret the poverty this entailed; though his wife bitterly resented it.  She, incidentally, was also educated at grammar school -- on a scholarship -- and had been a secretary.  Of course in those days as soon as a woman was married she had to give up any career. Indeed, she had kept her marriage secret for some time in order to keep on working. But at Chelwood Gate she also effectively was in service, and had to do some of the cleaning jobs at the big house -- in return for keeping her husband in the job – but she hated the ignominy of this imposition. 

As I have said, Vic Hellyer was a lovely man; very well educated and in particular very well read. It seemed that he read more than he ever took a saw to the trees in his woods. Every Saturday we used to go with him to the local public library where he took out half a dozen new books to read. Most important, he was happier in his job than almost anyone else I have ever met!

Pat, although an only child, had lots of aunts and uncles.  They seemed to be spread all over southern England.  Every so often they would congregate and have a party. I remember going to one, celebrating a golden wedding, at which there seemed to be dozens of guests -- though I guess it was actually about 50 in total - and I was totally bemused by all the strangers I was presented to.

Mother in law, Uncle Frank & Aunt May, Sarah, Pat, Aunt Kay

They all seemed to be characters in their own right.  Almost all of them were agricultural workers of one sort or another.  In the land of the gentry it was expected of them that they would tip their hat to the gentry as they passed them, and one suspected it hadn't been long before that they had to walk in the gutter.  On the other hand they seemed to get their own back by stealing everything in sight, and actually living quite rich lives.  Just one of them was businessman, a clothier, who seemed to get most of his business from members of family -- though he expected to charge over the odds rather than offer a discount! He was also a Mason -- and they bailed him out when he went bankrupt.

By the way, in this context, my own family were involved with the Masons.  My grandfather had been the master of the Lilley Ellis Lodge in Port Sunlight, and my own father had been a member of the Birkenhead Lodge.  I knew about this because my father and mother used to go to the ladies' night -- and he went off once a fortnight or so to evening meetings.  I don't know why my grandfather joined, except that he was always an organiser.  I suspect my own father hoped that it might help him with his career, but it never did! I just refused to join.  I am not a joiner, in any case, but I hoped that the society of graduates would give me a greater benefit.  Again I'm not certain that it ever did!

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