MISFORTUNE IN THE 1980s
0249 Seduction of Miles
It is fair to say that Miles’ academic career at Kingston Grammar School was somewhat less than a success. He didn't apply himself to his academic studies, he didn’t even take part in the mandatory sports, he mixed with the wrong company, and generally was a dropout.
He even was caught with a friend by the police. We had waved him away for a day out with his new friend, at his home in Kingston, and were horrified, later on in the day, when we got a call from the police. The friend had taken him into Richmond Park where there was an abandoned motorcycle, and they had been taking turns in riding on it as the other pushed. It turned out that the motorcycle was stolen, which Miles knew nothing about; though I think the friend probably did. Anyway they were caught by a park ranger after Miles frantically tried, without any degree of success, to hide in the bushes. The police, I thought unnecessarily, charged them both with Taking and Driving Away (TDA). I wanted to fight the case in court as I thought he was innocent, but I was persuaded by Pat to let him accept a caution.
Miles, though, definitely was a handful. It was obvious he wasn't going to do very well with his O-levels, so we went out and found a tutor to prepare him for these exams.
This tutor was a woman teacher, Julie, who was sufficiently well known in the local community that later she also became an official Conservative party candidate. Thus, as we knew other mothers who had entrusted their children to her, we had no reason to doubt her. On the other hand, we gradually came to realise that she was keeping Miles on later, after he finished his tuition, and was even renting TV videos for him to see with her. However, as her husband was always there as well, we didn't think too much of this.
I describe elsewhere how Pat came with me to New York. When this happened we left the two of them, who were old enough to look after themselves, behind in Molesey. Sarah was 17 and Miles was 15. What we didn't find out, until years later, was that for the whole of the two weeks Miles had gone off with this tutor to the Holiday Inn in Swiss Cottage. That was illegal, indeed statutory rape by the woman. But there was no point in pursuing it since we didn't get the proof until years later, and it wouldn't have done Miles any good either.
The problem, as we later realised it, came to a head when Miles went off with his friend to spend a couple of weeks in Spain. After only one day, Miles phoned to say he had to return. This tutor, Julie, then volunteered to pick him up. Pat thought this was very generous, not knowing what had previously gone on between the two of them, and Julie went off and brought him back from Gatwick. Miles was obviously in a bad emotional state. He stated that he needed his girlfriend. We were unable to get out of him who was the girlfriend; for what later, unfortunately much later, became the obvious reasons.
Over the next few weeks it became increasingly evident that something strange was going on between him and Julie. I went round to confront Julie, with her husband also there, but she swore that nothing was happening and that she would make certain that nothing would happen. Of course, she was lying through her teeth, but I didn't know that at the time. In any case, had I have known, I am not certain that I could have done anything different. We could have banned Miles from seeing Julie, but he would only have had to wait until he was 16, in a few weeks time, when he would have started seeing her again. Even if we had, as we could have done, actually had her put in prison – where what she had done was a criminal offence -- he would still have been waiting for her to come out.
Ultimately, one night, he simply refused to accept our rules; which were essentially grounding him at ten o'clock at night, so he couldn't go and see Julie later than this. After that time, when he was given a final ultimatum, he disappeared out; and out of our lives for the next eight years.
We eventually found out that he was staying with Julie, as I had always supposed. Pat, rather strangely, insisted that she was very grateful for Julie looking after Miles; saying that we hadn't looked after him properly, and Julie – in loco parentis - was making up for our shortcomings as parents. Even when Julie's husband left, and after the ensuing divorce, Pat still praised Julie for looking after Miles. As far as I was concerned it was very obvious what had happened. Even when Miles came back later and told us what really happened, he'd been seduced by her and had become her sexual partner even before her husband left, Pat still tried to make excuses for Julie.
As I said, this lasted for eight years; in which time we only saw Miles on a handful of occasions, even though he was living scarcely 300 yards away from us. Julie made certain that he never saw us, though she took him down to see his grandmother. I think maybe she was hoping that she would get some money from that direction, though she never did. The only time we really saw Miles was when we gave him one of our old cars
Incidentally, during this time, my Uncle Sid died and left £12,000 to each of the children. Sarah put hers in the bank and ultimately used it as a deposit on her first home with Richard. Miles, typically, immediately spent all of the money on buying a second-hand Zodiac car; which he soon sold again, for a loss of £6,000. The rest was frittered away!
Miles did try to get some A-levels, by attending the local technical College in Weybridge. In fact he got very poor A-levels, since Julie had him providing all kinds of support for her -- the very reverse of what we originally hired her for. After, in effect, failing his A-levels he then went out to work to support her. He worked in a Kentucky Fried Chicken branch, initially as a cook. Fairly soon, though, he was promoted to be the manager of the branch. Indeed he did well in management, and was well regarded by his regional management. But all of this was in order to support his ‘wife’.
Eventually he came home, after years away. The first we knew of this, we were living in Ashford at the time, was when Julie arrived on the doorstep with a suitcase full of his clothes; and literally threw them on the floor, saying she was throwing him out. The Miles followed some way behind and – at the tender age of 23 years - was our responsibility once more.
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