2013 IBM
89131 Exhibit -- Corporate Entertainment
During the daytime from 10 am until 6 pm, EXHIBIT was thrown open to the public. In the evening, from 7 pm until 10 pm it was, however, used to entertain IBM's corporate guests. These sessions were by invitation only, for a very carefully selected group. In particular, we had a number of very high profile evenings for people such as Members of Parliament and government ministers. I particularly well remember Shirley Williams, who was then very prominent in the newly launched SDP, arriving straight from parliament. She is a charmer, albeit much smaller than you expect -- I guess only five feet tall. I had the privilege of taking her around myself explaining what she was shown. She really is as captivating as she appears on television, and even more intelligent. The real hoot, however, was that two of the other people there -- very prominent in their fields -- tried to persuade me, successfully as it so happened, to introduce them to her. It was clear that that they almost had a crush on her!
These evenings were a pretty much the same for the participants as the daytime ones. The teams of IBM trainees provided the guide to the demonstrations in exactly the same way. However, we completed the entertainment by providing a buffet meal in the Natural History Museum. In fact it was in the dinosaurs hall, which is immediately inside the main entrance. It took me a lot of persuading for the Natural History Museum to allow this. They were worried by the idea of people wandering around with plates food near their precious dinosaurs. In fact it was never a problem. Indeed, it was so successful that they themselves have, ever since, run such evenings; to raise funds for the Natural History Museum itself.
To add some class to the evening events, I hired a string quartet -- women -- who played on the first landing of the stairs leading up from the hall. The effect was superb, as the classical music wafted down to our guests from the quartet. In their white chiffon dresses, the effect was almost heavenly.
In order to recruit them I had to find a theatrical agent. He proved invaluable when it came to arranging the end of EXHIBIT party. For this, indeed, my agent had to recruit a singer and group -- in fact it was Belle who at the time was Britain's entry into the Eurovision song contest. There was also another room with a jazz band and yet another one with a disco.
The intention in giving the EXHIBIT party was to thank all the people involved, especially the hundred and fifty demonstrators who had been brought in from the branches. Each came with their partner. Thus, we had coaches running - bringing something like 400 people - from all round the country; and then taking most of them back again -- at least those who were so sober enough to find the way to their coach. As this was largely a group of young people I asked Sarah, my daughter, what would be the best place to run the party. To my surprise, she suggested the London Dungeon. This was way-out, since it clearly wasn't designed for such parties; but I booked it and it too has now become a venue for corporate entertainment!
The net result, as I have indicated above, was that - to cater for the party - we had to put in three stages with sound and lighting equipment; one for each of the bands and one for the disco. We also had to bring in a complete kitchen, since the existing kitchen in their cafeteria just wouldn't cope. All of these additions worked superbly well,
It was, indeed, one of best -- if not the best – party IBM had ever run for staff in the UK. It was also a very boozy event. An awful lot of the people there drank far too much. As usual, I catered for a bottle of wine per head. At the end of the evening, though, there were people literally lying on the road outside and I just had to leave them. The following morning a number of the people attending, who came from IBM head office at Chiswick, were seen to be wandering around asking everyone "How did I get home last night?"
The net result of this was, however, that I received my one and only formal reprimand. Once EXHIBIT folded I left my new assistant to tie up all the loose ends. She was, as I have said, a very capable girl, but she didn't realize that you had to hide certain things. Thus, the IBM rules said that the maximum you could offer at such parties was half a bottle of wine. This was always ignored, but the catering arrangements were arranged so that the other half of a bottle was hidden in other costs. Katrina didn't know this and left them in full view. The net result was that I was hauled before the Director of Corporate Affairs and handed the formal notice of reprimand; a very unusual occurrence in IBM. The really hilarious aspect of this was that, at the same time, he handed me an award -- the 'Exceptional Achievements Award'. This was handed out to less than a hundred people worldwide -- out of 400,000 staff in those days. It was IBM's top honour.
I have it hanging on the wall even now, though it says it was awarded today 'David Merrer'. IBM was never a very good at getting the details right in such matters of recognition. I remember one of the main board directors of IBM getting his 20 years watch, a very expensive one, from the company and discovering that they had spelled his name wrong as well!. He was even more mortified when his fellow board members took him out for an evening meal, and he found himself paying for it because everyone else had not got enough money!
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