MISFORTUNE IN THE 1980s
9259 Miles Returns
Miles stayed with Julie, through thick and thin, for eight whole years. This was much longer than I had expected but - as I've said elsewhere -- he was very strong willed.
The first we knew of any change in their position was when, not long before we were due to move to Milton Keynes, Julie appeared on the doorstep of our Ashford house and almost literally threw two cases full of is belongings inside and said "You can look after him now!".
Miles came with us to Milton Keynes. This was not all good news, since we had bought the house in Milton Keynes for just the two of us, and it was designed to fulfill that function. All of a sudden we had a 25 -year-old lodger who took over half the house.
Living with us in MK, Miles had to change jobs and took on selling micro-computers. He fairly quickly progressed in this job, and then another one. The only problem was that the jobs were in London, and he had to travel down there each day. To help him with this I helped him buy a Ford Escort car -- a new one. However, after a while, he chose instead to go down by train; since the road journey was a nightmare in the rush hour. Eventually, he started staying down there overnight -- and then most of the week. Finally, he once more disappeared completely, and we didn't know what had happened to him. His car, of course, went with him!
A year later we found him living in the very pokey little bedsit in East Molesey. He had given up his selling career and had stepped down to take on a job on an ordinary assembly-line. Surprisingly, he found this very satisfying. However, his debts were enormous. The net result was that we took him back to Milton Keynes and sorted out his debts, which were mainly in terms of his car -- which I had to buy from him.
So there we were, with our son back with us for the second time. This time, for the first time, he had started to come to terms with the idea he wanted to go to university. Unfortunately, he had only gained very poor A-level grades. However, he was very fortunate in that De Montfort University, which was in an expansionary mood, decided to start up a campus in Milton Keynes. As they were very late starting, they were having considerable difficulty recruiting students. Accordingly, I went along and saw the Dean of this particular campus and, against all the odds, persuaded him to take Miles; and, at the age of 25, he finally went to university. He was studying computers and business, which should have provided a very good grounding for a future career.
In his first couple of years he actually did get down to work. I worked with him, particularly in terms of revising for the exams, and to my surprise he managed to drag himself up to what was likely to be a 2.1. In his third year he went off to do work experience; at Lancaster hospital -- where he met Clare who was to become his wife. In his final year, however, the problems came back. He didn't study enough and he slipped to a 2.2, rather than the 2.1 he had achieved in the first couple of years. Even so, he did get at long last a degree -- and celebrated by being found drunk while driving, leading to a ban for a year.
Despite what should have been very attractive degree, he had considerable difficulty finding suitable job. The problem with computing is that no one is willing to give you experience. All the employers are desperate to recruit people with experience, but none are willing to give them that experience. Thus, Miles started off in the only one he could find, in Bedford, which after a few months proved to have no future. He moved to a slightly better job in Huntingdon -- but hated the travel. He finally he moved to a software house before joining Clare in Manchester. Clare simply wouldn't leave her parents who lived in Bolton. Since then he has experienced the vagaries of the job market further; being made redundant, finally getting a steady job, and then moving to one which has better career prospects.
The main point from our point of view, is that - by his choice - he rarely enters into our lives. But then that has been the pattern of our relationship since he was fifteen.
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